Becca's bookshelf: Straight Talking by Jane Green

I've now spent a little bit of time gathering suggestions for 'good' chick lit. However, this wasn't my first port of call. That was ransacking my sister's shelves which are overflowing with books of every description and grabbing a collection of the most chick lit alike books I could find. Yesterday morning, before I voted, I rifled through the pile to find something to read on my way to work. Lots of Marion Keyes, lots of Jane Green. Even I know that Marion Keyes is rated in the chick lit world, so perversely I decided to go for Green. I also decided to start at the very beginning, so I pulled out the one published first, Straight Talking.

It opens with the lines 'I was never supposed to be single at thirty years old. I was supposed to be like my mother, wasn't I? Married, a couple of kids, a nice home with Colefax and Fowler wallpaper and a husband with a sports car and a mistress or two.'

Perfect, I thought. This book is exactly what I expected it would be.

I read on. It's voiced by, I'm guessing, 'straight talking' Anatasia who from the outset is really annoying. She's apparently a very successful TV person, though all her internal monologue is filled with thoughts of marriage and men and where it all went wrong. She also describes herself as 'stunning', more than once. Hum...

Then p.19 Oh my. There's a cock (and that's what she calls it). I wasn't expecting that so soon on. I quickly shield the page from my fellow commuters and probably blushed a bit, like you did when having to read the romantic bits out in English lessons age 14. I'm used to my willies popping up a bit more discreetly, probably shrouded in a bit of overblown metaphor, or at least with some deeper existential meaning attached to it. Not just appearing because the main character was thinking about a nice shag. I arrive at work a bit flustered and feeling slightly guilty.

A bit later on the day, once I'd vaguely recovered, I started to try and collect suggestions for future books. One piece of advice (from a source I won't reveal) was not to read Jane Green - the tipster described the characters as 'HORRIBLE HUMAN BEINGS' and her books as 'hateful novels!' Clearly I wasn't alone in not taking to the stunning Anatasia. Another colleague mentioned how homophobic she'd found Green's Bookends - its only gay character seemingly has to die from Aids. Puts a whole new spin on the title 'Straight Talking'.

As I mentioned before, this isn't the only Jane Green book on my sister's shelf - she's got a whole load of the things. My sister, Becca is a very nice, gentle mannered girl too. What on earth is it that makes her like Jane Green's books so much? Becca's not alone either, Jane Green is a best seller. If I soldier on with the book  will I discover the key to Green's success? And, of course, I need to find out if Anatasia finally finds the happiness she deserves desires.

When starting this project, I also wanted to chart if the novels had any effect on my mental well-being. I sent Mr S (otherwise known as my boyfriend) a text yesterday morning when he was out canvassing and received no reply. My phone has been playing up and I've not received a few text messages sent from other people but I'm sure the cruel men in Straight Talking started rattling away on my insecurities and I started to question the exact reason why he hadn't texted me. Eventually, after much mind-wrangling, I decided to ring him. He had sent me a text of course. My phone was just playing up. Bad Jane Green.